There is Nothing You could've done

There is nothing you could've done to change what they did to you.

Read that again.

Read it until your throat closes

on the guilt that never belonged to you.

There is nothing you could've done to change what they did to you.

You didn't love them too much.

Your tenderness was not a flaw.

You didn't smother.

You didn't starve.

You weren't the wound they bled from

they walked in already bleeding.

There is nothing you could've done to change what they did to you.

You didn't waste time.

You didn't neglect it.

You were there in all the right ways

and still they left like you were absence.

Like your presence was a crime.

There is nothing you could've done to change what they did to you.

They were cracked

long before you touched them.

A mess of jagged edges wrapped in charm

and you thought

you could hold glass

without getting cut.

There is nothing you could've done to change what they did to you.

They were just intrinsically flawed

from the beginning.

And so are we all

and that sucks.

But it's not a death sentence.

There is nothing you could've done to change what they did to you.

Repeat it until it drowns out the sound of your self-blame scraping against your ribcage.

It wasn't your fault.

It wasn't your fault.

It wasn't your fault.

And one day

you will stop asking why.

Not because you found the answer

but because you understand

there never was one.

It's just who they were

and maybe that's the worst part.

The fact that they chose to be like that.

But that's okay.

You don't have to carry them forever.

You'll be okay

even if it comes slow

even if okay limps and aches and flinches.

You'll be okay because

there is nothing you could've done to change what they did to you.