nothing but regret

I confess I thought of running away those nights when I asked a crowd want to come with me tonight?

on a quest for another world where all that mattered was the sun

arms around my waist, and being free

to no longer chase the impossible

in still more creative ways

as if I could see myself trapped

in the archive of my future past

staring my youth in the face.

Will you forgive me

for staying?

I thought you would have stayed with me

in a haze of slow-motion heartbeats

out the door

following roads to nowhere

nights under stars and days

staining borrowed sheets with salt

eking out from this life

intensity it gives so briefly

a glaze, a blaze

nothing but regret left staying with me.